Part 5: The Reception!

So let me start by saying that before I was bustled, Carrie led Jeff and I into the ballroom to see the reception all set up before anyone else did. I felt like I was on that David Tutera wedding show haha. As Carrie led us into the room with our eyes closed, I was filled with so much anticipation. When she said "open!" my jaw dropped and I could not believe what I was seeing. What I saw before me was my absolute dream wedding. The ballroom was lit up with my 'pink' lighting, our monogram was on the dance floor, light music was playing, the votive candles were lit, and omg I can not even explain how beautiful our flowers had turned out. Everything was absolutely PERFECT. It brought me to tears. I was also SO excited to finally see everything all put together and for Jeff to see what we have been working on for the past year. He was speechless as well.

After all the guests had been ushered into the ballroom the bridal party and the parents took their correct place and got ready for the introductions. It was SOO funny to watch all the bridal party practice all their dance moves for when they were introduced...all wearing sunglasses. As "I Gotta Feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas started playing I got SO excited. The parents were first introduced, and then one by one the bridesmaids and groomsmen were introduced and they all did their little moves which ranged from 'leap frog,' 'beating the beat- NJ shore style,' and 'raising the roof.' Then finally...the DJ asked everyone to please rise and he announced "And it is with my great honor to introduce Mr. & Mrs. Jeffrey Bender!" O.M.G.

Jeff and I walked through all our excited guests, and made our way to the middle of the dance floor where we shared our first dance as husband and wife. I will be honest I cried during most of it, I was just so overwhelmed with happiness. At one point I closed my eyes and opened them thinking I would wake up from the most splendid dream and I realized I wasn't dreaming, this was real, I was dancing with my HUSBAND with all our loved ones looking upon us, in the middle of the most beautiful wedding reception...our wedding reception. I'm not sure if I've mentioned before but our first song was "Your Everything," by Keith Urban. That song pretty much captures all the emotions Jeff and I feel for each other...obviously it doesn't capture all of them, because that would be impossible! Jeff broke away from our 'little world' a few times to look at our parents who were all bawling, and told me not to look, because obviously I would loose it too!

After our first dance we made our way to our cute sweetheart table where champagne and bread was awaiting us. Fr. Lance gave an opening prayer which quickly followed by the Amuse-Bouche course which was tomato bisque soup with pesto cheese crostini (which BTW was AMAZING...and also was the ONLY thing Jeff & I had to eat the entire night...) My Dad then stood up to give his welcome speech. And let me tell you it was probably the most amazing welcome speech I have ever heard. It was so well thought-out, so well spoken, and it was delivered with so much love. He loves public speaking and is always a crowd pleaser at all his NRLA events, so this was obviously no exception. He started off welcoming everyone and acknowledging those who had traveled far to be with us. He then acknowledged my Mom for their 25th wedding anniversary and all that she has done during the past year to help with the wedding. He played the most amazing slide show of their life together and then presented her with a beautiful arrangement of 4 dozen red roses. It was so sweet and so special, it was so hard not to get choked up. After Jeff & I composed ourselves we made our way to the front to greet everyone ourselves and to announce a very important occasion..Emily's birthday! We had a cute birthday cake brought out with candles and presented her with a birthday tiara, and got everyone to sing Happy Birthday to her!

The Maid of Honor and Best Man speeches were phenomenal. Sean, Jeff's Best Man, gave such a heartfelt speech and said so many kind things about me...and Jeff and me as a couple. It meant so much to us. Emily, of course was adorable, and really surprised me with how composed, well-spoken, and articulate she was. My baby sister made us laugh...made us cry...and overall made me so proud of her and reminded me how lucky I am to have her as a sister. I couldn't have dreamed of a better Maid of Honor. <3

While the first course was served Jeff and I started making 'the rounds' to all the tables, to say hi to everyone and to thank them for coming. Our table visiting obviously took awhile since we had 26 tables, 209 guests, and we wanted to spend so much time with every single one of them! Jeff and I missed the first course, the second course, and the third course while visiting tables haha. Even though we missed all the courses, we filled ourselves with our yummy signature cocktail! ;)

A little more into the evening, Carrie approached us and said it was time to cut the cake! Yay! Our cake was soo beautiful, Perrin at VT Cake Studio did such a fabulous job! Cutting of the cake is such a cute tradition. It was such a 'sweet' moment between Jeff and I :) And no we did no mush the cake in each others faces! We simply put a dab of frosting on each others noses and fed each other with a fork :) We didn't get a big enough bite/piece to tell if it was good or not...but I later heard it was the most amazing wedding cake, so flavorful and fresh! So we were happy to hear that! We can not wait to try it out on our 1 year anniversary when we get to eat the top layer! lol.

The next ceremonial event was...the Father-Daughter dance...I knew it was going to emotional...but I really had no idea how emotional it was going to be...my Dad said a few words, and he then played a slide show of pictures of me growing up, which then led into our dance. Our song was "Daddy Let's Dance," by Jamie Tate. It was such a special moment, a moment that every little girl dreams of having with her daddy. Jeff and Mrs. Bender's mother-son dance was also emotional. Their song was "What a Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong, such a classic.

A few other special things that happened during our reception was Jeff & I really wanted to acknowledge and celebrate 6 important people in our lives and their BIG anniversaries! This year is my parents and the Benders 25th wedding anniversary (they have the same exact wedding date...CRAZY!) and my Memere & Pepere's 50th. We asked our cake-designer to make 3 mini-wedding cakes so they could all 'cut the cake' like they did at their own weddings. I actually brought my parents knife they used at their wedding! After, the DJ played a montage of all their wedding songs. It was a lot of planning and coordination on my part....but it went PERFECTLY! They were all SO surprised and it was so special :) ALSO- to further celebrate my grandparents milestone anniversary- my Uncle Paul announced on behalf of the entire Anctil side (my Mom's side) that we were sending them on a cruise to the Western Caribbean! They were shocked! Jeff & I were so happy to share our special day and celebrate so many amazing occasions!

Later on...the DJ invited the bridal party back onto the dance floor, and played "You & ME," by Dave Matthews Band, a favorite of Jeff & I, and then invited all the other couples onto the dance floor. Once the dance floor was PACKED the DJ then transitioned over to a fast-paced song, that gave you the urge to dance! Needless to say the dance floor was PACKEDDDD the entire night after that. Which made us SO happy! I wanted everyone to dance and have fun, and it was soo much fun to see everyone going wild and letting loose! Our DJ, Corey, was SO awesome and SO much fun. He was going wild and having a dance party of his own behind his DJ booth! Born to Run was obviously played for AGP, and Heaven was obviously played for my favorite girlies, Alpha Phi! While Heaven was playing, I completely lost it...for multiple reasons...I knew that this would be the last time I would see all my friends for awhile before Jeff & I moved to Georgia. I tried to ignore the fact that it was kind of 'goodbye' for awhile, and I did a good job ignoring it, until Heaven was playing. I had my BEST friends around me, I was already filled with emotions and champagne, I mean how could I now completely break down for a moment?? (Love you all SO much..and miss you all like crazy! But no matter the distance I think of all of you always, and you guys will ALWAYS be my best friends <3)

SO- I definitely need to mention the bouquet and garter toss. Bridget O'Mally, my college roomie, caught my bouquet, and Brian Mason, fraternity brother and friend, caught the garter. It is tradition for the person who catches the garter to put it on the person who catches the bouquet. WELL- our DJ decided to 'spice' it up a bit...meaning he had to dance around her and try to 'impress' her. Let's just say I haven't laughed that hard in SO long.
One of my favorite memories of the night, was during the last song. Since it was Em's birthday, the DJ played, "Say Ah." What made it special was some how all 4 of the Durfee siblings were dancing together celebrating Emily, and then people made a circle around us. It was so cute, and it really meant so much to me, and people could see how close of a family we were. Overall...our reception was AWESOME lol. We had the time of our lives. And what made it so special, was there was a glow of love and happiness that FILLED the entire room. I really can not describe that feeling. It was so incredible. And also, it meant so much to me that people saw how awesome my family is. I really am so blessed to have suchhhhh an amazing, fun, loving family.

Our reception ended about 11pm, Jeff & I were both STARVING...and a bit too happy from all the champagne! So we headed up to our 'hidden' bridal suite to where we were greeted with our dinners, more champagne, and rose petals everywhere :)

And that is how the Durfee-Bender went down. I will never forget that weekend. I couldn't have wished or dreamed for anything more. So yes I am now married to my best friend, the love of my life, and my soul-mate <3 Love you forever and more Jeffrey John Bender.

So this is me...Jessica Lynn Durfee signing off....and now Jessica Lynn Bender signing on!

Part 2: The Day Before & Rehearsal Day!

I woke up Friday morning around 6:30am to the boys getting ready to go to their tee time. I didn't sleep that well and I knew I wasn't going to go back to sleep, so I figured I would just get up too.

The girls hung out for a bit and then we decided to go get breakfast. I think my nerves were starting to set in, or I was nervous about looking 'fat' on my wedding day, so I literally had 1 egg white and 1/2 piece of wheat toast lol. To ensure I looked perfect on my wedding day I spent some time at the gym to make sure my arms were toned and I my endorphins were high :) My workout wasn't that good, probably due to the fact I was way to antsy and had to much on my mind.

Since it was such a gorgeous day, my Mom, Emily, Morgan, and I spent some time laying beside the pool (I stayed in the shade...didn't want tanlines!) Guests started arriving and my excitement started going through the roof. It seemed so surreal and crazy that I was getting married TOMORROW, and all these people were traveling for us and to share in our happiness!

During the day we met up with Carrie, our fabulous wedding planner, to go over a few details. We also got to see the programs we designed, our cute little maple syrups, our menus, and our doortags, and our welcome bags! Everything turned out AMAZING. Carey Bunker with Lasso'd Moon did such an incredible job with all our printed materials! We also got to see the ballroom in its early set-up...I was soo excited to see my gorgeous gold-chiavari chairs! (one of the main things that I NEEDED to have!) We also stalked the poor guy who had to go to all the assigned guest rooms and place our door-tag on the door and our welcome bag in the rooms!

My Mom, Emily, and I spent the rest of the afternoon in the spa :) My Mom, Em, and Morgan got mani's, and I got my hair done for all the big events that night!

By 3pm all our bridal party had arrived, along with soooo many guests. At 4:30ish the bridal party and direct family headed over to the church for rehearsal. It was soo exciting to see everyone and I was so excited for them to be in VT and be in the place that I fell sooo in love with. With all the talk and the planning, I'm sure they all had visions of the area and the resort, but I was so excited for them to actually see it! I might also add our resort is also a Mercedes test center, so we of course went to the church in style ;)

Rehearsal went really well. Carrie took charge which was amazing and directed everyone where to go, where to sit, etc. She did incredibly well with dealing with a bridal party of 18, parents, grandparents, and some other guests. Doing the practice walk down the aisle was so overwhelming, and I of course got soo emotional. It was so surreal looking around at everyone looking at me, and then looking ahead at Jeff. The.Time.Had.Finally.Come.O.M.G.

When rehearsal was done, it was time to party! We then all headed over to Spruce Camp, footsteps away from our resort for the Welcome/Rehearsal dinner. We decided to call it the "Welcome Dinner" and not so much the "Rehearsal Dinner" because we invited everyone, and we wanted everyone to feel welcomed. We wanted all our guests who traveled to arrive and have a nice meal with us and it was a nice way to kick off the weekend! We had 101 of our guests with us that night.

The Benders did an amazing job arranging everything. The location was perfect, the food was soooo amazing, and the linens and centerpieces were so gorgeous. Jeff's groomscake was also soo adorable! It obviously was an army-inspired cake. Mr. Bender gave such a wonderful, heart-warming speech to welcome everyone. He said such loving things about me and about Jeff & I together, and it just added such a amazing tone to the entire night.

During the dinner Jeff and I wanted to thank some important people and wanted to show our appreciation. We presented the bridal party with their gifts, the parents, and our readers. For the groomsmen Jeff had flasks engraved with their monograms and a bottle of their favorite alcohol. For the bridesmaids I got each of them a single-pearl necklace to wear with their dress, and a spa-robe with their monogram and matching flip-flops to obviously wear in the spa the next day :) (as part of their gift we also took care of their spa appointments) For our readers we got them Godiva chocolates. Our parents were tricky. We wanted to get them something special, but they are both soo hard to shop for! After manyy brainstorming sessions Jeff and I decided we wanted to have paintings made of our family's favorite spot, and where we had many childhood memories. Nantucket for my family...and Long Beach Island for the Benders. With help from my bridesmaid Katelyn, we found a local painter in Waltham who agreed to do the paintings for us. They came out amazinggg and our parents loved them!

I lovedd our Welcome Dinner. It turned out perfectly and it was sooo good to see so many of our guests, many whom I hadn't seen in awhile! When the dinner started to die down, I knew I should probably call it a night, I had a big day in the morning and I should probably attempt to get as much rest as possible. Jeff and I said our good-byes to everyone and we made our way back to the Lodge to have our last moment together before we said "I Do." We found a private spot and we exchanged wedding gifts. For our wedding gifts I had gotten Jeff a new set of golf-clubs and golf bag (which he received that morning so he could use them!) but I had also gotten him something very sentimental, something that means a lot to just him and me :) Jeff gave me the most beautiful pair of Mikimoto diamond and pearl earrings to wear with my dress...my 'something new.' They brought me to tears, and they were beyond gorgeous. I really do not know how he does it, he alwaysss seems to know exactly what I would love and what would be perfect, needless to say they went with my dress PERFECTLY. At that point I was just so overwhelmed and I had just felt so blessed to be marrying him the next morning. How did I get this lucky? What have I done in my life to deserve him. I must've done something right to have God lead me to him. We said our goodnights and then parted ways knowing the next time we would see each other we would be getting married!

So thankfully my bridesmaids all came to hang out with me in my parents suite for awhile. There was noo way I was going to sleep any time soon so it was nice to hang out and have company :) It was soo much fun to just relax, laugh, and tell stories. My Mom also gave me the most sentimental wedding gift ever. I looked up and she came walking out of her room with tears in her eyes, and I was like umm ok? Little did I know what she was about to give me. When I was a junior in highschool we took a trip to Europe. One of our stops was Brugge, Belgium. While we were there she apparently bought a hand-made lace hanky made by Nuns, that she bought to give to me on my wedding day. Well it was that time to give it to me. I was so overwhelmed with emotion (again) because I knew how special it was.

At midnight it not only meant that it was the day of the wedding...but it was Emily's 18th birthday! We all sang happy birthday and I gave her her birthday present. I knew I wanted to get Emily something very special, not only was it her 18 birthday, she also let us share her special day with us. I got her a Tiffany's necklace. It was her very first Tiffany's piece, and it brought her to tears too.

I would like to say that I slept that night...but I don't think I really did..I was soo restless.

Stay tuned for the BIG DAY!

Drum Roll Please...

I am honored to announce the 8th and final groomsmen that Jeff has chosen...

Drum roll please...

Ralph Johnson!

After much thought Jeff thought it would be nice to include his sister, Elisa's, new husband, Ralph (his brother-in-law) in the bridal party!

Welcome to the fun Ralph!!

GUESS WHAT!!

So within the last week SO many exciting things have happened. The most recent, and the most exciting piece of news is...MY DRESS IS IN!!!! Lyndsey, my stylist as Priscilla's called me last night to let me know that my dress was in....it looks gorgeous...and she can't wait to have me in to put it on! Eekkkk! Nerves are definitely starting to kick in now...only because I'm not in nearly as good shape as I want to be in before I try the dress on....and I'm also having that typical "bridal fear" of "what if I find out I HATE my dress...since its been so long!" AH! Hopefully I will be able to try it in very soon to settle my nerves.

Other things to mention...the groomsmen gifts are in...the bridesmaids gifts are in...and they are both awesome!

ALSO- The bridesmaid dresses are in! And most of my bridesmaids have already received them. They are exactlyyy what I was envisioning...they are exactlyyy the color I wanted...so I couldn't be more thrilled! All my bridesmaids are going to look GORGEOUS! I just keep envisioning the beautiful pink color against the beautiful landscape of the green mountains. I just saw some of my photographers most recent work, which made me that much more excited and thrilled that we booked them, because their pictures were gorgeous! I know mine will be too because we have beautiful scenery, beautiful people, and beautiful colors :)

T-Minus 149 Days!

Newsflash!

My wedding garters are in! And they are adorable...wonder who the lucky catcher will be!

Bridesmaid gifts and Groomsmen gifts are on order!

The groomsmen gift are adorable.

My Bridesmaid gifts are soo soo cute & perfect and I want to give them to my bridesmaids nowww!!

That's it for now :)

Bridesmaid Dresses

So it has been about a month since the last time I posted....and obviously so much has happened since then!

The highlight of this past month was BRIDESMAID DRESSES!! About a month or two ago, my bridesmaids and I decided that October 17th would be a great time to all meet up and pick out bridesmaid dresses! A few weeks before the 'big day' I did so much research online and in bridal salons to figure out what exactly I was looking for. I knew the style I wanted: I wanted a sweetheart top dress, that was flowy, and most likely tea-length. I wanted the sweet-heart top because it would match my dress, and you know me "matchy-matchy!" I obviously already knew the color, my bold "Lily" pink. So the tricky thing was finding a company that carried my color.....in the dress I envisioned. After doing some "recon" as Jeff would say, I found a few companies that carried the exact color I was looking for, in a few dresses that might work. I then found local salons that carried those designers. After comparing all the different salons I decided to bring my business to a local salon right in Waltham. They had a majority of the dresses I had found on-line, they were right in Waltham so it was super convenient, AND they offered me 15% off and free shipping to all my bridesmaids. PERFECT!

My thought of mind going into "Bridesmaid Dress Day" was that I wanted this to be quick, simple, and easy. No stress, no upset bridesmaids, and no upset bride! To eliminate all those things I visited the bridal shop multiple times, and took time looking through every single dress on their racks, and picked out about ten dresses I thought might work. The owner promised to have all the dresses pulled and ready for my bridesmaids to choose from on the day of our appointment. I decided this would make everyone's lives easier. It was really important to me that my bridesmaids had a say in the dress. I wanted them to feel comfortable, beautiful, and happy. And happy bridesmaids make for a happy bride! Also by pre-selecting a group of dresses it minimized all complaining, stress, and the amount of time.

My plan couldn't have gone smoother!

On Saturday the 17th, all my bridesmaids gathered at my apartment in Waltham. It made me so happy that I was surrounded by all my best friends and the fact they were all here for me! The feeling was incredible. My best friend from home, Meredith, drove down the night before and we went out to dinner in Boston with a few of the other bridesmaids. It was so much fun having Meredith there and hanging out with all my best friends here. Everyone clicked SO well and I couldn’t have been more pleased. My Mom, Memere, and Em, came up from Nashua, NH Saturday morning, and the rest of my bridesmaids live locally so they just drove over Saturday morning. The only bridesmaid that couldn’t make it was Elisa, but that is because she is currently in Idaho!

So after visiting at my apartment we made our way across Waltham to the bridal salon.

The dresses were already pulled so each Bridesmaid held up two dresses. By process of elimination we were down to 4 dresses. This quickly was narrowed down to two. Each bridesmaid tried on each of the two dresses. It was blatantly obvious which dress was the dress.

The dress we chose was PERFECT. It was exactly what I had envisioned; it looked AMAZING on EVERY SINGLE GIRL. AND it came in my color. It was just meant to be!

I’m not going to go into to much detail about the dress we chose, you'll just have to wait and see how beautiful the 8 of them are on my wedding day! They will be STUNNING!

*The first picture of Meredith and Em, are a few dresses they tried on...NOT the winners!
**The second picture is of me and all of my beautifullll bridesmaids! (minus Elisa!)

My Bridal Party

Everyone seems to know exactly who they want to be in their wedding party....so when the question is popped...one of the first things announced is who is in their bridal party....I was not one of those people. It took me over a month, agonizing who to announce as my final bridal party. In my heart I already knew who I wanted and who would be the perfect bridesmaids, but I was toying with the idea of having 6...0r 8......and if I chose 6, that means I would have to make a really hard decision of cutting two girls out....but I knew my first step was to finalize on a number...6 or 8. At first my Mom thought 8 was outrageous, and it was soo many.. Which it is...and I mean I had always envisioned 6 bridesmaids....so 6 seemed like the right number. Right?

After many conversations with Jeff, my mom, my wedding planner, some close friends....the number would change every week...then I decided to take a different approach, who do I truly want in my bridal party, and who can I envision being the perfect bridesmaids, and who do I want standing up there with me as I married Jeff?? My wedding planner and also Robyn, my big sister, gave me the same great advice, which I will give others, if you are having issues choosing then ask yourself a simple question.... "Will this girl be upset if they are not in your bridal party?" And if the answer is "Yes" then they should NOT be in your bridal party, because they are obviously not a true friend and would be more concerned with themselves then you on whats supposed to be "your" day. I was like wowww, that is amazing advice, because I had never thought of it that way. So with each girl I asked myself this question and 8 girls I immediately thought "no" and then there were a few more I was thinking of...and they were all "yes" ... The answer was simple...it was 8.....8 special girls that have in some way impacted my life and has influenced the person I am today. I know they will do anything for me on a drop of a hat and will be amazing, amazing bridesmaids. I also know that these 8 girls have always been there for me, and will always be there for me. I also know that these 8 girls have always had my back, and will always have my back. These girls are my best friends, my soul mates, and my loves. They've also been in support of Jeff and my relationship, and they've never had the jealously bug and just shared my happiness instead of try and dampen it.

After I made my final decision I created "Will you be my bridesmaid?" cards and sent them out on their way. And everyone's reactions when they received the card made me smile inside because I knew I had 100% made the right decision, and I felt silly stressing over it so much!

So 8 bridesmaids, and I couldn't be happier!

I love you Emily (My Maid of Honor!), Elisa, Tina, Katelyn, Meredith, Amanda, Robyn, and Berns!