Part 4: The Ceremony

The Ceremony...the moment I've dreamed of, planned for, and waited anxiously for. Up until that moment, everything had gone perfectly, the rain had held, everything and everyone was on schedule, my hair and makeup turned out perfectly...so I knew that I was in the midst of living in my fairy tale.

As I watched Emily, my MOH, and the last bridesmaid to walk down the aisle, my heart raced. The doors closed, Carrie situated me and lowered my veil, and we waited for our cue. I could hear the bridal march begin, the people rising, and then the doors opened. I grabbed my Dad's arm, took a deep breath, and we began 'the walk.' I honestly felt like I was floating. I remembered from rehearsal, slow...no running down the aisle...just a slow and angelic pace. Jeff made fun of me later because he saw me take my 'big deep breath' before I began walking lol. He said it was 'typical me.'

I remembered looking straight ahead, looking at my groom, the love of my life, and my best friend. He had a 'twinkle' in his eye, as he likes to call it, and his adorable smile was spread across his face. I think I drowned everything out, I don't remember looking at anyone else or even hearing the music. It was like Jeff and I were in our own separate world, where it was just me and him, despite all the guests and musicians around us.

When my Dad and I reached the end of the aisle, my Dad lifted my veil, gave me a kiss, and gave my hand to Jeff. I was so happy and in a state of pure bliss I could not get rid of my smile even if I tried. I also realized that I walked down the aisle without bawling, my eyes got teary-eyed and I shed one tear...but that was it!

There is not a word or a sentence to describe our ceremony. It was the most amazing, captivating, and spiritual moment of our lives. When planning I knew the most important thing to me was to have a beautiful ceremony, and it truly was. The joy, love, and happiness was all around us, I felt like I've never felt before. Fr. Lance gave the most amazing homily. Fr. Lance held me hours after I was born, and was our priest to our church in Bethel for a few years, so needless to say he added a real personal touch to it, which made it so special and beautiful. He spoke of the meaning of marriage, the importance of it, and how special it truly is. His words touched so many people, and we are still having people tell us thank you so much for inviting them to our wedding and it was the most amazing ceremony they have ever witnessed, and it truly reminded them the importance of marriage and that they need to cherish their loved ones and rekindle that love that they had on their own wedding day. When some people think of Catholic weddings, they probably think of 'boring,' 'traditional,' and 'strict,' ours however was none of these. Fr. Lance had told us that during the ceremony that we will feel in such a state a grace and we will 'transform' before each other. And I honestly felt that, I really felt God was with us that day. It made me so happy and so blessed to have people say to me that they never wanted to get married in the church, but now they do, after going to our wedding!

There was a few times I got really emotional and choked up during the ceremony. The first time (other then walking down the aisle) was when Mary-Jeanne read one of our readings, when she got to the part of "..Love is patient..Love is kind.." she looked at us, and it really choked me up because she read it with so much love, and also because she means so much to me. The other time I got choked up was when I was saying my vows. Jeff had said his perfectly, and with so much love and devotion, that it made me cry. I knew at that point that there was no way I was going to make it through my vows. I made it through surprisingly well, and only choked up during the last few lines. I composed myself enough for when I put Jeff's ring on. Another time I lost it was when I found out my great-grand mother was there. She is 98 years-old we did not think she was coming. It obviously would've been way to much for her to sit in a car for the 5-hour roundtrip and be amongst all the hustle and bustle. However, there she was! It meant SO much to me, and I was absolutely speechless.

When Fr. Lance announced we were 'officially' husband and wife I just remember feeling SO excited and beyond happy. I felt so connected and truly one with Jeff. At the end of the ceremony and Fr. Lance announced for the first time "Mr. & Mrs. Bender," a shrill ran through me and I was finally able to kiss my husband for the first time.

Jeff and I proceeded down the aisle and I still don't remember seeing anyone's face, all I could see was my husband, we were truly in a different world. Jeff and I then were hidden in a small staircase and we waited for all the guests to make their way out of the church so we could make our grand bubble exit! This is something that I'd envisioned from the beginning and was praying that it would be able to happen. It was a 50/50 chance it wouldn't happen because of the weather. A good 20 minutes passed, and Jeff and I were getting hot and thirsty in this little stairwell, but finally one of my wedding planners crew motioned for us to come down, and she yelled "Blow Your Bubbles" and I knew I was going to get my bubble exit!!!! Jeff and I moved toward the entrance of the church and the bridal party and all the guests were blowing bubbles, Jeff and I shared a kiss, beautiful pictures were taken, and then we made our way through all our loved ones to our car awaiting us. The driver helped stuff me and my dress into the car and we were on our way to CELEBRATE!

*A side note- it rained for a few minutes as guests were exiting, the poor bridal party and some guests got a little wet...but right before Jeff and I came out, it just stopped...God was seriously with us on that day.

**Another side note- I was nervous that our 'small' VT church wasn't going to hold everyone, but it was the perfect size! Every pew was taken, and it made the church feel full and happy.

The car ride back was so exciting and Jeff and I could not stop looking at each other and beaming. The happiness and joy in his eyes is a sight I will never forget.

When we arrived back at the resort, all the valet guys were so excited for our arrival and wished us congratulations. Carrie was also awaiting us, and ushered us back to the spa to do hair and makeup touch-ups before pictures. The spa staff had champagne waiting for us! It was nice to just relax for a few moments in the spa and getting composed again before making our way back out to everyone.

When we stepped back outside...it legit looked like a tornado or a monsoon was about to happen. The clouds just looked like they were soo heavy with rain and it was about to let loose at any moment. Even though I was on 'cloud 9' I still was so anxious and nervous about getting all our formal pictures taken. We quickly took pictures with all the grandparents and family, and then moved onto the bridal party. We took a ton of quality shots in record time, and then moved onto just Jeff and I. I've seen previous weddings pictures taken at our venue and they were the most gorgeous pictures I have ever seen. . . So obviously . . . I wanted them too. . . however we would have to take golf carts to go onto the golf course and the weather did not seem promising. After a few seconds of thinking whether we should risk it or not, I decided who cares lets do it! I wanted those pictures so bad, I was willing to take the risk of getting poured on to get those pictures. Well can I just say it was one of the best decisions I have ever made? And let me repeat again...I truly felt like God was there with us. The further and further we drove onto the golf course the clearer the sky became, to the point where SUNSHINE was actually pouring down on us. I almost started crying. Could the day get any more perfect??

It was so much fun to work with MKD photography. They took so many beautiful pictures of us, while filming at the same time for our wedding video...which we can NOT wait to see! When we were finished we made our way back to the venue to where Carrie was waiting for us, to whisk me away to get me bustled and ready for the reception!

My bustle experience was so funny. Carrie actually 'reserved' the entire Women's bathroom for me, and collected all my bridesmaids and my Mom to help. No one else was allowed to enter hahah. After my bustle was done, it was time to line up for our grand entrance into the RECEPTION!

Part 2: The Day Before & Rehearsal Day!

I woke up Friday morning around 6:30am to the boys getting ready to go to their tee time. I didn't sleep that well and I knew I wasn't going to go back to sleep, so I figured I would just get up too.

The girls hung out for a bit and then we decided to go get breakfast. I think my nerves were starting to set in, or I was nervous about looking 'fat' on my wedding day, so I literally had 1 egg white and 1/2 piece of wheat toast lol. To ensure I looked perfect on my wedding day I spent some time at the gym to make sure my arms were toned and I my endorphins were high :) My workout wasn't that good, probably due to the fact I was way to antsy and had to much on my mind.

Since it was such a gorgeous day, my Mom, Emily, Morgan, and I spent some time laying beside the pool (I stayed in the shade...didn't want tanlines!) Guests started arriving and my excitement started going through the roof. It seemed so surreal and crazy that I was getting married TOMORROW, and all these people were traveling for us and to share in our happiness!

During the day we met up with Carrie, our fabulous wedding planner, to go over a few details. We also got to see the programs we designed, our cute little maple syrups, our menus, and our doortags, and our welcome bags! Everything turned out AMAZING. Carey Bunker with Lasso'd Moon did such an incredible job with all our printed materials! We also got to see the ballroom in its early set-up...I was soo excited to see my gorgeous gold-chiavari chairs! (one of the main things that I NEEDED to have!) We also stalked the poor guy who had to go to all the assigned guest rooms and place our door-tag on the door and our welcome bag in the rooms!

My Mom, Emily, and I spent the rest of the afternoon in the spa :) My Mom, Em, and Morgan got mani's, and I got my hair done for all the big events that night!

By 3pm all our bridal party had arrived, along with soooo many guests. At 4:30ish the bridal party and direct family headed over to the church for rehearsal. It was soo exciting to see everyone and I was so excited for them to be in VT and be in the place that I fell sooo in love with. With all the talk and the planning, I'm sure they all had visions of the area and the resort, but I was so excited for them to actually see it! I might also add our resort is also a Mercedes test center, so we of course went to the church in style ;)

Rehearsal went really well. Carrie took charge which was amazing and directed everyone where to go, where to sit, etc. She did incredibly well with dealing with a bridal party of 18, parents, grandparents, and some other guests. Doing the practice walk down the aisle was so overwhelming, and I of course got soo emotional. It was so surreal looking around at everyone looking at me, and then looking ahead at Jeff. The.Time.Had.Finally.Come.O.M.G.

When rehearsal was done, it was time to party! We then all headed over to Spruce Camp, footsteps away from our resort for the Welcome/Rehearsal dinner. We decided to call it the "Welcome Dinner" and not so much the "Rehearsal Dinner" because we invited everyone, and we wanted everyone to feel welcomed. We wanted all our guests who traveled to arrive and have a nice meal with us and it was a nice way to kick off the weekend! We had 101 of our guests with us that night.

The Benders did an amazing job arranging everything. The location was perfect, the food was soooo amazing, and the linens and centerpieces were so gorgeous. Jeff's groomscake was also soo adorable! It obviously was an army-inspired cake. Mr. Bender gave such a wonderful, heart-warming speech to welcome everyone. He said such loving things about me and about Jeff & I together, and it just added such a amazing tone to the entire night.

During the dinner Jeff and I wanted to thank some important people and wanted to show our appreciation. We presented the bridal party with their gifts, the parents, and our readers. For the groomsmen Jeff had flasks engraved with their monograms and a bottle of their favorite alcohol. For the bridesmaids I got each of them a single-pearl necklace to wear with their dress, and a spa-robe with their monogram and matching flip-flops to obviously wear in the spa the next day :) (as part of their gift we also took care of their spa appointments) For our readers we got them Godiva chocolates. Our parents were tricky. We wanted to get them something special, but they are both soo hard to shop for! After manyy brainstorming sessions Jeff and I decided we wanted to have paintings made of our family's favorite spot, and where we had many childhood memories. Nantucket for my family...and Long Beach Island for the Benders. With help from my bridesmaid Katelyn, we found a local painter in Waltham who agreed to do the paintings for us. They came out amazinggg and our parents loved them!

I lovedd our Welcome Dinner. It turned out perfectly and it was sooo good to see so many of our guests, many whom I hadn't seen in awhile! When the dinner started to die down, I knew I should probably call it a night, I had a big day in the morning and I should probably attempt to get as much rest as possible. Jeff and I said our good-byes to everyone and we made our way back to the Lodge to have our last moment together before we said "I Do." We found a private spot and we exchanged wedding gifts. For our wedding gifts I had gotten Jeff a new set of golf-clubs and golf bag (which he received that morning so he could use them!) but I had also gotten him something very sentimental, something that means a lot to just him and me :) Jeff gave me the most beautiful pair of Mikimoto diamond and pearl earrings to wear with my dress...my 'something new.' They brought me to tears, and they were beyond gorgeous. I really do not know how he does it, he alwaysss seems to know exactly what I would love and what would be perfect, needless to say they went with my dress PERFECTLY. At that point I was just so overwhelmed and I had just felt so blessed to be marrying him the next morning. How did I get this lucky? What have I done in my life to deserve him. I must've done something right to have God lead me to him. We said our goodnights and then parted ways knowing the next time we would see each other we would be getting married!

So thankfully my bridesmaids all came to hang out with me in my parents suite for awhile. There was noo way I was going to sleep any time soon so it was nice to hang out and have company :) It was soo much fun to just relax, laugh, and tell stories. My Mom also gave me the most sentimental wedding gift ever. I looked up and she came walking out of her room with tears in her eyes, and I was like umm ok? Little did I know what she was about to give me. When I was a junior in highschool we took a trip to Europe. One of our stops was Brugge, Belgium. While we were there she apparently bought a hand-made lace hanky made by Nuns, that she bought to give to me on my wedding day. Well it was that time to give it to me. I was so overwhelmed with emotion (again) because I knew how special it was.

At midnight it not only meant that it was the day of the wedding...but it was Emily's 18th birthday! We all sang happy birthday and I gave her her birthday present. I knew I wanted to get Emily something very special, not only was it her 18 birthday, she also let us share her special day with us. I got her a Tiffany's necklace. It was her very first Tiffany's piece, and it brought her to tears too.

I would like to say that I slept that night...but I don't think I really did..I was soo restless.

Stay tuned for the BIG DAY!

FOCCUS & Timelines

So this past weekend the weather held and I was able to make my way North to VT. Saturday I had a full day of wedding appointments in Stowe.

My first appointment was at 9:30am with Fr. Mercure at the church. It went well. We went over the results from our FOCCUS test and confirmed a few times. Usually both the bride-to-be and the groom-to-be go together to review the results, but in our situation, it was another thing I had to do by myself. Thankfully, since Jeff and I did amazingggg on the test it wasn't bad at all to sit there by myself. Fr. Mercure was quite pleased with our results. He said it was the 'best' results he has ever seen. Which made me feel good, but honestly I wasn't that surprised. Like I've mentioned before Jeff and I have one of the most pure, open relationships and we are usually almost on the same page, and if we're not, then we talk about it and figure out a better solution. We didn't "match up" on about 8 questions. And 3 I completely admit I misread it and was quite embarrassed about that. And Jeff mis-read one which didn't make any sense. And the other 4 we didn't necessarily 'disagree' like one person would put agree/disagree and the other would put 'uncertain.' So overall we did great and we can 'officially' get married in the Catholic Church! Yay for us!

My next appointment, Carrie met my Mom, Emily, and I at the church to discuss the floral design and talk about the processional/recessional. We made a few changes to the floral design and decided that less is more. The church has such a simple VT elegance, and we didn't want to take away from that. So we decided on a more subtle design which I am thrilled about.

We then made our way up the mountain to the SML.

We discussed a few details such as the timeline of the day, the layout of the room, and a few other important details. It was nice because we were able to go to our cocktail reception site and talk about the layout and visualize it and then go into the ballroom and do the same thing. Carrie has this cool program that designs the layout with a realistic view of the space and where tables should be placed, etc.

We all left the meeting feeling really good and accomplished knowing that everything is set in place and we just need it to be June 5th now!

Jeffrey's First Trip to Stowe

So since Jeff has been all around the country since our engagement, he hasn't been able to see our venue or our church. He's of course seen the website...but the website doesn't do the place justice.

Jeff was able to come home for New Years so we knew this would be the best, and the only time for him to see everything.


On New Years day we drove up to VT and spent some time with my family. Saturday morning we headed North to Stowe and at meet with one of our priests. Jeff & I are both Catholic. We of course both wanted to get married in the church and have a traditional Catholic ceremony. In order to get married in the Catholic church you need to complete 'marriage preparation courses' also know as "Pre Cana." Since Jeff's and my situation is different from most, we were able to take a more 'intense/shortened' version of the course. Some view these courses as a 'burden' or 'ridiculous' but that is because they just don't understand. In the Catholic church marriage is a sacrament you receive. It goes Baptism, First Communion, Confirmation, Marriage, and Death. (Wow pretty crazy I'm going to receive the second to last sacrament...and I really don't want the last one for a VERY long time!!) So since its a sacrament, the church wants to do everything possible to make sure that your marriage is a success and it won't end in divorce. I value what the church believes in and it further strengthens my beliefs that marriage is a serious step, and those who have ANY doubts or are obviously getting married for the wrong reasons should perhaps think about it more deeply...

Anyways- in short - our course went well. We both really enjoyed it. Even though Jeff and I have one of the most open and honest relationships ever, it still made us think about things and talk about things that we ordinarily wouldn't. We were both pleased when we were exactly on the same page for basically everything.

So marriage preparation done!

After we made our way up the mountain to the Stowe Mountain Lodge. Driving the path from the church to the SML gave me goosebumps because I realized the next time Jeff and I took that drive....we will be husband and wife. What an amazing feeling that was. I was pretty anxious to approach the SML because it was such a huge moment. I knew Jeff would absolutely adore it but I was still nervous nonetheless.

It was a success! Jeff was speechless. He loved it. He loved the atmosphere, the simple elegance, the service, everything! I gave him a quick tour of the resort, showed him the ballroom, the spa, where the cocktail reception was going to be etc. It was so much fun.

For dinner my parents met us at the SML. I was so glad we were able to take Jeff to dinner there so he could experience the amazing quality of the food.

The chef came out and greeted us again, and Jeff was really impressed with that. The chef also brought out some things for us to try and recommended what was good on the menu. His taste was a little to 'fancy' for me...he recommended the 'fogra'....I'm a simple chicken girl.

We had a fabulous meal, and left full and happy.

Leaving the SML I had a huge smile on my face. It was such an amazing night. And the next time Jeff & I will be there together we will be celebrating our love, our newly minted marriage, and the rest of our lives together with all our closest family and friends!

(I have no idea why this post didn't post when I wrote it! My bad!)