Part 5: The Reception!

So let me start by saying that before I was bustled, Carrie led Jeff and I into the ballroom to see the reception all set up before anyone else did. I felt like I was on that David Tutera wedding show haha. As Carrie led us into the room with our eyes closed, I was filled with so much anticipation. When she said "open!" my jaw dropped and I could not believe what I was seeing. What I saw before me was my absolute dream wedding. The ballroom was lit up with my 'pink' lighting, our monogram was on the dance floor, light music was playing, the votive candles were lit, and omg I can not even explain how beautiful our flowers had turned out. Everything was absolutely PERFECT. It brought me to tears. I was also SO excited to finally see everything all put together and for Jeff to see what we have been working on for the past year. He was speechless as well.

After all the guests had been ushered into the ballroom the bridal party and the parents took their correct place and got ready for the introductions. It was SOO funny to watch all the bridal party practice all their dance moves for when they were introduced...all wearing sunglasses. As "I Gotta Feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas started playing I got SO excited. The parents were first introduced, and then one by one the bridesmaids and groomsmen were introduced and they all did their little moves which ranged from 'leap frog,' 'beating the beat- NJ shore style,' and 'raising the roof.' Then finally...the DJ asked everyone to please rise and he announced "And it is with my great honor to introduce Mr. & Mrs. Jeffrey Bender!" O.M.G.

Jeff and I walked through all our excited guests, and made our way to the middle of the dance floor where we shared our first dance as husband and wife. I will be honest I cried during most of it, I was just so overwhelmed with happiness. At one point I closed my eyes and opened them thinking I would wake up from the most splendid dream and I realized I wasn't dreaming, this was real, I was dancing with my HUSBAND with all our loved ones looking upon us, in the middle of the most beautiful wedding reception...our wedding reception. I'm not sure if I've mentioned before but our first song was "Your Everything," by Keith Urban. That song pretty much captures all the emotions Jeff and I feel for each other...obviously it doesn't capture all of them, because that would be impossible! Jeff broke away from our 'little world' a few times to look at our parents who were all bawling, and told me not to look, because obviously I would loose it too!

After our first dance we made our way to our cute sweetheart table where champagne and bread was awaiting us. Fr. Lance gave an opening prayer which quickly followed by the Amuse-Bouche course which was tomato bisque soup with pesto cheese crostini (which BTW was AMAZING...and also was the ONLY thing Jeff & I had to eat the entire night...) My Dad then stood up to give his welcome speech. And let me tell you it was probably the most amazing welcome speech I have ever heard. It was so well thought-out, so well spoken, and it was delivered with so much love. He loves public speaking and is always a crowd pleaser at all his NRLA events, so this was obviously no exception. He started off welcoming everyone and acknowledging those who had traveled far to be with us. He then acknowledged my Mom for their 25th wedding anniversary and all that she has done during the past year to help with the wedding. He played the most amazing slide show of their life together and then presented her with a beautiful arrangement of 4 dozen red roses. It was so sweet and so special, it was so hard not to get choked up. After Jeff & I composed ourselves we made our way to the front to greet everyone ourselves and to announce a very important occasion..Emily's birthday! We had a cute birthday cake brought out with candles and presented her with a birthday tiara, and got everyone to sing Happy Birthday to her!

The Maid of Honor and Best Man speeches were phenomenal. Sean, Jeff's Best Man, gave such a heartfelt speech and said so many kind things about me...and Jeff and me as a couple. It meant so much to us. Emily, of course was adorable, and really surprised me with how composed, well-spoken, and articulate she was. My baby sister made us laugh...made us cry...and overall made me so proud of her and reminded me how lucky I am to have her as a sister. I couldn't have dreamed of a better Maid of Honor. <3

While the first course was served Jeff and I started making 'the rounds' to all the tables, to say hi to everyone and to thank them for coming. Our table visiting obviously took awhile since we had 26 tables, 209 guests, and we wanted to spend so much time with every single one of them! Jeff and I missed the first course, the second course, and the third course while visiting tables haha. Even though we missed all the courses, we filled ourselves with our yummy signature cocktail! ;)

A little more into the evening, Carrie approached us and said it was time to cut the cake! Yay! Our cake was soo beautiful, Perrin at VT Cake Studio did such a fabulous job! Cutting of the cake is such a cute tradition. It was such a 'sweet' moment between Jeff and I :) And no we did no mush the cake in each others faces! We simply put a dab of frosting on each others noses and fed each other with a fork :) We didn't get a big enough bite/piece to tell if it was good or not...but I later heard it was the most amazing wedding cake, so flavorful and fresh! So we were happy to hear that! We can not wait to try it out on our 1 year anniversary when we get to eat the top layer! lol.

The next ceremonial event was...the Father-Daughter dance...I knew it was going to emotional...but I really had no idea how emotional it was going to be...my Dad said a few words, and he then played a slide show of pictures of me growing up, which then led into our dance. Our song was "Daddy Let's Dance," by Jamie Tate. It was such a special moment, a moment that every little girl dreams of having with her daddy. Jeff and Mrs. Bender's mother-son dance was also emotional. Their song was "What a Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong, such a classic.

A few other special things that happened during our reception was Jeff & I really wanted to acknowledge and celebrate 6 important people in our lives and their BIG anniversaries! This year is my parents and the Benders 25th wedding anniversary (they have the same exact wedding date...CRAZY!) and my Memere & Pepere's 50th. We asked our cake-designer to make 3 mini-wedding cakes so they could all 'cut the cake' like they did at their own weddings. I actually brought my parents knife they used at their wedding! After, the DJ played a montage of all their wedding songs. It was a lot of planning and coordination on my part....but it went PERFECTLY! They were all SO surprised and it was so special :) ALSO- to further celebrate my grandparents milestone anniversary- my Uncle Paul announced on behalf of the entire Anctil side (my Mom's side) that we were sending them on a cruise to the Western Caribbean! They were shocked! Jeff & I were so happy to share our special day and celebrate so many amazing occasions!

Later on...the DJ invited the bridal party back onto the dance floor, and played "You & ME," by Dave Matthews Band, a favorite of Jeff & I, and then invited all the other couples onto the dance floor. Once the dance floor was PACKED the DJ then transitioned over to a fast-paced song, that gave you the urge to dance! Needless to say the dance floor was PACKEDDDD the entire night after that. Which made us SO happy! I wanted everyone to dance and have fun, and it was soo much fun to see everyone going wild and letting loose! Our DJ, Corey, was SO awesome and SO much fun. He was going wild and having a dance party of his own behind his DJ booth! Born to Run was obviously played for AGP, and Heaven was obviously played for my favorite girlies, Alpha Phi! While Heaven was playing, I completely lost it...for multiple reasons...I knew that this would be the last time I would see all my friends for awhile before Jeff & I moved to Georgia. I tried to ignore the fact that it was kind of 'goodbye' for awhile, and I did a good job ignoring it, until Heaven was playing. I had my BEST friends around me, I was already filled with emotions and champagne, I mean how could I now completely break down for a moment?? (Love you all SO much..and miss you all like crazy! But no matter the distance I think of all of you always, and you guys will ALWAYS be my best friends <3)

SO- I definitely need to mention the bouquet and garter toss. Bridget O'Mally, my college roomie, caught my bouquet, and Brian Mason, fraternity brother and friend, caught the garter. It is tradition for the person who catches the garter to put it on the person who catches the bouquet. WELL- our DJ decided to 'spice' it up a bit...meaning he had to dance around her and try to 'impress' her. Let's just say I haven't laughed that hard in SO long.
One of my favorite memories of the night, was during the last song. Since it was Em's birthday, the DJ played, "Say Ah." What made it special was some how all 4 of the Durfee siblings were dancing together celebrating Emily, and then people made a circle around us. It was so cute, and it really meant so much to me, and people could see how close of a family we were. Overall...our reception was AWESOME lol. We had the time of our lives. And what made it so special, was there was a glow of love and happiness that FILLED the entire room. I really can not describe that feeling. It was so incredible. And also, it meant so much to me that people saw how awesome my family is. I really am so blessed to have suchhhhh an amazing, fun, loving family.

Our reception ended about 11pm, Jeff & I were both STARVING...and a bit too happy from all the champagne! So we headed up to our 'hidden' bridal suite to where we were greeted with our dinners, more champagne, and rose petals everywhere :)

And that is how the Durfee-Bender went down. I will never forget that weekend. I couldn't have wished or dreamed for anything more. So yes I am now married to my best friend, the love of my life, and my soul-mate <3 Love you forever and more Jeffrey John Bender.

So this is me...Jessica Lynn Durfee signing off....and now Jessica Lynn Bender signing on!

Part 4: The Ceremony

The Ceremony...the moment I've dreamed of, planned for, and waited anxiously for. Up until that moment, everything had gone perfectly, the rain had held, everything and everyone was on schedule, my hair and makeup turned out perfectly...so I knew that I was in the midst of living in my fairy tale.

As I watched Emily, my MOH, and the last bridesmaid to walk down the aisle, my heart raced. The doors closed, Carrie situated me and lowered my veil, and we waited for our cue. I could hear the bridal march begin, the people rising, and then the doors opened. I grabbed my Dad's arm, took a deep breath, and we began 'the walk.' I honestly felt like I was floating. I remembered from rehearsal, slow...no running down the aisle...just a slow and angelic pace. Jeff made fun of me later because he saw me take my 'big deep breath' before I began walking lol. He said it was 'typical me.'

I remembered looking straight ahead, looking at my groom, the love of my life, and my best friend. He had a 'twinkle' in his eye, as he likes to call it, and his adorable smile was spread across his face. I think I drowned everything out, I don't remember looking at anyone else or even hearing the music. It was like Jeff and I were in our own separate world, where it was just me and him, despite all the guests and musicians around us.

When my Dad and I reached the end of the aisle, my Dad lifted my veil, gave me a kiss, and gave my hand to Jeff. I was so happy and in a state of pure bliss I could not get rid of my smile even if I tried. I also realized that I walked down the aisle without bawling, my eyes got teary-eyed and I shed one tear...but that was it!

There is not a word or a sentence to describe our ceremony. It was the most amazing, captivating, and spiritual moment of our lives. When planning I knew the most important thing to me was to have a beautiful ceremony, and it truly was. The joy, love, and happiness was all around us, I felt like I've never felt before. Fr. Lance gave the most amazing homily. Fr. Lance held me hours after I was born, and was our priest to our church in Bethel for a few years, so needless to say he added a real personal touch to it, which made it so special and beautiful. He spoke of the meaning of marriage, the importance of it, and how special it truly is. His words touched so many people, and we are still having people tell us thank you so much for inviting them to our wedding and it was the most amazing ceremony they have ever witnessed, and it truly reminded them the importance of marriage and that they need to cherish their loved ones and rekindle that love that they had on their own wedding day. When some people think of Catholic weddings, they probably think of 'boring,' 'traditional,' and 'strict,' ours however was none of these. Fr. Lance had told us that during the ceremony that we will feel in such a state a grace and we will 'transform' before each other. And I honestly felt that, I really felt God was with us that day. It made me so happy and so blessed to have people say to me that they never wanted to get married in the church, but now they do, after going to our wedding!

There was a few times I got really emotional and choked up during the ceremony. The first time (other then walking down the aisle) was when Mary-Jeanne read one of our readings, when she got to the part of "..Love is patient..Love is kind.." she looked at us, and it really choked me up because she read it with so much love, and also because she means so much to me. The other time I got choked up was when I was saying my vows. Jeff had said his perfectly, and with so much love and devotion, that it made me cry. I knew at that point that there was no way I was going to make it through my vows. I made it through surprisingly well, and only choked up during the last few lines. I composed myself enough for when I put Jeff's ring on. Another time I lost it was when I found out my great-grand mother was there. She is 98 years-old we did not think she was coming. It obviously would've been way to much for her to sit in a car for the 5-hour roundtrip and be amongst all the hustle and bustle. However, there she was! It meant SO much to me, and I was absolutely speechless.

When Fr. Lance announced we were 'officially' husband and wife I just remember feeling SO excited and beyond happy. I felt so connected and truly one with Jeff. At the end of the ceremony and Fr. Lance announced for the first time "Mr. & Mrs. Bender," a shrill ran through me and I was finally able to kiss my husband for the first time.

Jeff and I proceeded down the aisle and I still don't remember seeing anyone's face, all I could see was my husband, we were truly in a different world. Jeff and I then were hidden in a small staircase and we waited for all the guests to make their way out of the church so we could make our grand bubble exit! This is something that I'd envisioned from the beginning and was praying that it would be able to happen. It was a 50/50 chance it wouldn't happen because of the weather. A good 20 minutes passed, and Jeff and I were getting hot and thirsty in this little stairwell, but finally one of my wedding planners crew motioned for us to come down, and she yelled "Blow Your Bubbles" and I knew I was going to get my bubble exit!!!! Jeff and I moved toward the entrance of the church and the bridal party and all the guests were blowing bubbles, Jeff and I shared a kiss, beautiful pictures were taken, and then we made our way through all our loved ones to our car awaiting us. The driver helped stuff me and my dress into the car and we were on our way to CELEBRATE!

*A side note- it rained for a few minutes as guests were exiting, the poor bridal party and some guests got a little wet...but right before Jeff and I came out, it just stopped...God was seriously with us on that day.

**Another side note- I was nervous that our 'small' VT church wasn't going to hold everyone, but it was the perfect size! Every pew was taken, and it made the church feel full and happy.

The car ride back was so exciting and Jeff and I could not stop looking at each other and beaming. The happiness and joy in his eyes is a sight I will never forget.

When we arrived back at the resort, all the valet guys were so excited for our arrival and wished us congratulations. Carrie was also awaiting us, and ushered us back to the spa to do hair and makeup touch-ups before pictures. The spa staff had champagne waiting for us! It was nice to just relax for a few moments in the spa and getting composed again before making our way back out to everyone.

When we stepped back outside...it legit looked like a tornado or a monsoon was about to happen. The clouds just looked like they were soo heavy with rain and it was about to let loose at any moment. Even though I was on 'cloud 9' I still was so anxious and nervous about getting all our formal pictures taken. We quickly took pictures with all the grandparents and family, and then moved onto the bridal party. We took a ton of quality shots in record time, and then moved onto just Jeff and I. I've seen previous weddings pictures taken at our venue and they were the most gorgeous pictures I have ever seen. . . So obviously . . . I wanted them too. . . however we would have to take golf carts to go onto the golf course and the weather did not seem promising. After a few seconds of thinking whether we should risk it or not, I decided who cares lets do it! I wanted those pictures so bad, I was willing to take the risk of getting poured on to get those pictures. Well can I just say it was one of the best decisions I have ever made? And let me repeat again...I truly felt like God was there with us. The further and further we drove onto the golf course the clearer the sky became, to the point where SUNSHINE was actually pouring down on us. I almost started crying. Could the day get any more perfect??

It was so much fun to work with MKD photography. They took so many beautiful pictures of us, while filming at the same time for our wedding video...which we can NOT wait to see! When we were finished we made our way back to the venue to where Carrie was waiting for us, to whisk me away to get me bustled and ready for the reception!

My bustle experience was so funny. Carrie actually 'reserved' the entire Women's bathroom for me, and collected all my bridesmaids and my Mom to help. No one else was allowed to enter hahah. After my bustle was done, it was time to line up for our grand entrance into the RECEPTION!

Why Hello!

Yes I am alive....and well....and married!

It's been over a month since I've last posted...and obviously it was the biggest month of my life! So lots to blog about, lots to update, and lots to do!

In the next couple of blogs/days/weeks I want to catch up on the most amazing day of my life, our mini-moon to Turks & Caicos, the big move down South, and our new addition :) I also want to blog about some of the things I didn't blog about before (wedding things) because I didn't want to spoil any surprises!

Stay tuned...but for now I think I will enjoy the hottt Georgia weather poolside!

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